This past weekend I was reminded of my hatred/distaste for modern American weddings while watching an episode of 'Whose Wedding is it Anyway' on the Style channel. One of the brides joyfully deceived her father and bought a second dress just for the reception, a dress he had expressly forbidden her to purchase. The other wedding highlighted featured a bride who couldn't make up her mind about the color of the table linens, right up until it was time for her to get dressed for the ceremony. I've seen other episodes with their collections of bored grooms, demanding brides, strident or exasperated parents, put upon relations and bizarre bridesmaids, all presided over by a wedding planner with a cell phone glued to her head.
I've also been privy to numerous nightmare nuptials. Brides who lock the church doors for their stroll down the aisle to ensure the right atmosphere for her "appearance", scream at their hairdressers, slight their mothers, regularly have melt downs, make unreasonable demands, and generally make the months leading up to their wedding days a living hell for those around them. All the while these young women justify this bad behavior with "It's my wedding day, it has to be perfect".
Firstly, if you practiced applying correct theology to your real world life you would know that in this life there is no such thing as a perfect anything, so get over it now. Secondly, a billion or so people will be experiencing that day at the same time, so it is, in fact, not YOUR day. Therefore behave like a lady, be grateful that anyone would want to suspend their schedule to watch you walk down the aisle, be respectful of your parents and don't don't don't expect that you can ask them to go into debt for your party. All that's really required for a wedding is a minister/judge, a bride, a groom and a couple of witnesses. Notice nothing was said of Jordan almonds or new dresses. Everything after the people actually involved in the ceremony of covenant is cake. That means that the dress, flowers, pretty church, bridesmaids, reception and honeymoon are all actually unnecessary to the actual "get married" part of a wedding. Treat it like that. It's all whipped cream and cherries, non-essential window dressing.
There is so much more to offend here than just the churlish behavior of a bride or two. The extravagance of a modern wedding is, to my eyes, grotesque. Most people can not afford to host these shindigs without going into significant debt, and for what? Dry, rubbery chicken, sickly sweet tasteless cake and a bill for cleaning the carpet in the church hallway where Great Uncle Leroy vomited up that seventh chivas and coke. You've got a dress you can't wear again, a photo album full of almost good pictures and a debt load that cripples your first years together.
Not to be too cynical, but since 50% of all marriages end in divorce doesn't fiscal common sense demand that you save the $50,000 blow out party for your 50th Wedding Anniversary? Seriously, I'm not kidding. At 50 years together, the couple have completed a monumental and daunting marathon of relating worthy of a bash to end all bashes. By then they have accumulated grown children, grandchildren, likely even great grandchildren, long time friends and a life time of memories, some of trials faced and won, happy things, sad things. In short, it's a hallmark of two lives lived in sacrifice and steadfast love.
And please, don't get me started on those 16th birthday parties. WTH is that all about?
